Relief after stress

After the car break down, I've asked myself what caused the alternator problems.

• maybe the flood?
• wear & tear?
• the fuckin' situation wants to irritate me?
• or simply God's test of faith? or a test of how I can handle a situation?

The mere fact that I got home was a sign that I passed the test. But the major issue is how much will the repair cost. Im in financial crisis because I used up my car maintenance allocation for tires (4,500). Now, I don't have any money left.

08/26
6:30 am
We pushed the car to make it start and rushed it to the electrical shop just around the corner. Yes, I was first but I waited for 45mins for the shop to open. Fuck them! They are INEFFICIENT. I hate waiting because WAITING is INEFFICIENT. Besides I have a class at 9:30.

7:30
They began working and removed the alternator while recharging the battery.

8:00
The problem was fixed, it was only a small piece of carbon contact points which needed to be replaced because of normal usage.

8:30
They were able to put back the whole thing and luckily it only cost me 450.

I was happy that at least, its over. I went to my 9:30 class.

Car Failure

08/25 5:30 pm
I parked my car at my mom's office and went to megamall to buy neon lights. When I tried the lights, they were cool but something was weird about the car. Before starting it, I noticed that 2 of the indicator lights were not on. I just didn't mind it because the engine was running smoothly.

(Charge & Fuel - They light up together because the electronic fuel system relies on the alternator power.)

6:15 pm
People got in the car including my mom. We were about 8.

6:40 pm
I was at Libis, and I noticed something was wrong. It began to rain but the wipers were too slow. The lights were dim. My stereo faded out. The battery was discharging. I became worried because I had to shut off all electrical accessories to preserve the battery to keep the engine on.

No headlights. No wipers. No sounds. No aircon. This is some hell. Plus the weather is not cooperating. And I can't put the windows down because it would drain the battery. Other cars drive too slow. Traffic aides stop the flow of traffic when it's my turn, but I step on it and disregard them

7:15
We stopped over to drop off some passengers when I noticed the lights became bright again and I thought it was ok.

7:25
The lights were dim again, and the place was flooded. I had to overtake the slow-moving jeepneys because my battery was almost dead. It was a race against time. Once the battery dies, the engine would shut off.

7:45
JIT. Just in time. I got home when the battery was almost consumed. I was happy that at least, I got home.

WHAT A FUCKIN' STRESSFUL TIME. I was all wet with sweat and I've got a serious headache.

SABOG pa rin ako!!!

Friday, Aug. 19

• I'm very busy sorting all my files just to find my interview questions.
• We went to out company for POM again and guess what, traffic was terrible.
  
• All those fuckin' roadside emission testers are at it again. GET A LIFE!
• I'm tired and I'm lost, so GIVE ME A LITTLE BREAK!
  

Saturday, Aug 20

• POM LT 2, I messed up. Mental block? Stress? Shit. I need to catch up. I think i overstudied? Or was I mentally stressed out?
  
• Marketing project stress. I lost my files, because my flash disk got corrupted.
  
• I'm mentally tired thinking of all my problems.
• My tires needed replacement as well. Fuck all those who dig holes and don't cover them up.
  

In short, I'm too stressed up to the point my daily routines and even the way I think are being affected.

Midterm stress...

Nothing still seems to go right. Everything really sucks!

Damn! Still no relaxation for the past five months. I've been deprived of peace inside me!!!

SHIT! Fuck all these problems!!!

First, school sucks!!! In all subjects for two weeks, I've messed things up!

• My 2nd Marketing Case Study was only a fuckin' C+ since I messed up one entire part of the case which cost me my B+...
  
• Our Marketing Pass 2 was only a B even if I spent hours and hours working on the useless income statement and forecast solutions which was not actually needed!! FUCK! I hate wasted effort!
• LS also sucks because of the highly objective 100-point long test, where 70 items were so detailed from the text
• I even messed up my LS case because I assumed too much based on POM and Marketing
• I messed up a POM quiz because of stupid calculating mistakes. (IMAGINE I should have gotten an A instead of a C because of careless calculation errors.
• Macroeco long test sucks as well. Imagine getting a C because of lack of time, and without knowing how to properly answer an essay question.
• Our 30-page THEO paper was full of typographical, spelling and grammatical errors, which I had to fix.

Even personal issues suck!

• The weather fuckin' sucks!!! I'm all wet because of my bad habbit of leaving the umbrella in the car.
• My internet connection got cut because my phone line got grounded!
• I don't have a decent cell phone anymore because my LCD broke down and I sold the damn phone for a low low price!
• I'm getting sick of all these...
  

I'm depressed! I don't know what to do!!!

Useless Weekend... No rest... Pure stress...

Life is and will never be easy, I guess. I had a long weekend but pure problems got in to me. They keep bothering me that I can't get to sleep well anymore.

SCHOOL Problems.
- POM 104 - I'm stressed in deciding whether I should go or not to the main office of my dad's company in Makati. I don't know if I should listen to my groupmates or to my dad. Plus, I have to make a presentation for Thursday about Chapter 9.
- MKT 101 - Another case study on Wednesday. Damn! I need to do well in here. I also need to work on the project. I'm having a hard time because I keep waiting for nothing.
- LS 11 - An elective but things are piling up. Got a long test this Wednesday and a report to submit for our project.
- TH 131 - Working on our project but problems still come because of lack in guidelines for Turabian Citation Guide. And I don't known how the presentation would go.

PERSONAL issues.
- STRESS STRESS and more STRESS. I don't know where to put myself. I'm lost and I think too much!!! I can't get to control myself because I keep on letting these things get into me and make me think of things that may not be necessarily true. HELP ME!!!

TODAY, I don't have class. I wasted my time just to go to school for nothing!!! Damn it! Free cut lahat and I only found out that my 7:30 class is free cut...

Last Song Syndrome... [take 2]

We Belong Together
Mariah Carey

(Ooh, ooh, sweet love, yeah)

I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you, so
I should have held on tight
I never shoulda let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself
Cause I didn't know you
Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt

The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, cause baby
(We belong together)

[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together

Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together

I can't sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Saying to me
"If you think you're lonely now"
Wait a minute
This is too deep (too deep)
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
I only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart

I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things, crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
It ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life, baby

[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together

Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together, baby

[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me 
It's still so hard to believe 
Come back baby, please 
Cause we belong together 

Who am I gonna lean on 
When times get rough 
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up 
Who's gonna take your place 
There ain't nobody better
Oh baby, baby
We belong together       

Last Song Syndrome... hehehehe

Goin' Crazy
Natalie


Ever since the day you went away 
And left me lonely and cold 
My life just hasn't been the same 
Oh baby no 
When I looked into your eyes 
The moment that I let you go I just broke down (down) 

Baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice 
'Cause the feelin that I feel within no other man 
Would ever make me feel so right 

It's nice to smile when I get your phone call at night 
But I'd rather have you here with me 
Right next to me 
And I miss the way you hold me tight 

I've got to let you know I feel so weak without your touch 
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much 
I've gotta let you know I think that we are destiny 
For you I'd cross the world for you 
I'd do anything 

That's right baby 
I'm goin' crazy
I need to be your lady 
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it 
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you (baby) 

That's right baby 
Im goin' crazy 
I need to be your lady 
I've been thinking lately 
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me 
I'm in love with you (baby) 

Break it down now I'll tell you what I feel
From the moment that I met you it's been so damn real 
My heart seems to skip another beat every time we speak 
Can't believe I feel so weak
Tell me that you really need me 
And you want me 
And you miss me 
And you love me 
I'm your lady 
I'll be around waiting for you 
Put it down be the woman for you 
I'm falling so deep for you 
Crazy over you I'm calling 
Callin' out to you 
What am I gonna do? 
It's true no frontin' 
It's you ain't no other 
I can no longer go on without you 
I'll just break down (down)

I've got to let you know I feel so weak without your touch 
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much 
I've gotta let you know I think that we are destiny 
For you I'd cross the world for you 
I'd do anything 

That's right baby 
I'm goin' crazy 
I need to be your lady 
I've been thinking lately 
That you and me, yes we can make it 
Just ride with me, roll with me 
I'm in love with you (baby) 

That's right baby 
I'm goin' crazy 
I need to be your lady 
I've been thinking lately 
That you and me, yes we can make it 
Just ride with me, roll with me 
I'm in love with you (baby) 

ooo, crazy,(ooo) 
lady (ooo) 
lately (ooo) 
Baby


Baby, miss n tlga kita...
Sorry I'm really busy...
I know busy ka rin...
Wala lang...
I LOVE YOU!!!